When Private Goes Public
You Can't Take it Back!
Have you ever said anything you wish you hadn't?
In the real, physical world, we can . . .
Have you ever said anything you wish you hadn't?
In the real, physical world, we can . . .
- apologize if we were wrong,
- explain ourselves if it was taken the wrong way,
- make amends by being friendly, or
- just stay away from the person or the topic for a while and let time heal the injured feelings.
21st Century Social Skills
Getting online is not something to be afraid of. Mr. Durden makes jokes about the "demon internet" because his mom said that one time about his dad staying up late into the night trading penny stocks and looking at old cars he will never, ever buy or fix up instead of coming to bed at a decent hour and reading like old people should. Mr. Durden laughed so hard he got the hiccups for an hour (and his mom said it served him right for laughing at his mother; be warned, kids).
But, as most moms do, she had a point: the internet can take up your spare time, lead you places you didn't intend to go to start with, or make it easy to find things you are not emotionally or intellectually ready for.
It also makes communicating with people and sharing thoughts easier, but aside from the little animated faces (emoticons) we can add to messages, it is very difficult to understand the writer's tone or state of mind. Once it goes on the internet, in a blog, chat room, or as tags in a social network, it is like squeezing that toothpaste tube--you can't put it back once it is out in cyberspace.
But, as most moms do, she had a point: the internet can take up your spare time, lead you places you didn't intend to go to start with, or make it easy to find things you are not emotionally or intellectually ready for.
It also makes communicating with people and sharing thoughts easier, but aside from the little animated faces (emoticons) we can add to messages, it is very difficult to understand the writer's tone or state of mind. Once it goes on the internet, in a blog, chat room, or as tags in a social network, it is like squeezing that toothpaste tube--you can't put it back once it is out in cyberspace.
The Linebacker Test
Before you click "Send" or "Publish," PLEASE ask yourself the following questions--
IS IT TRUE?
Is what you're saying based on fact, a matter of opinion, or something you have made up? If you do not have supporting details, you may be on thin ice.
IS IT HELPFUL?
You do NOT have to agree with everything on the internet, but your reply should ADD TO the community, building it up, not tearing it down. If your comment is not adding value, you need to ask whether you need to write it.
IS IT KIND?
A good rule of thumb is to comment as if the person about whom you are commenting is standing in front of you, is built like a linebacker, and has excellent hearing. After all, you will see these people at recess and lunch . . .
Even if they are not built like a linebacker, your untrue, unhelpful, or unkind comment is likely to come to the attention of someone who has the responsibility to spend time coaching you on the right way to behave; if you value your time, access to technology tools, and reputation, your impulse to say something untrue, unhelpful, or unkind needs to give way to thinking about consequences. Please remember this is YOUR comment, you own it, and your name will be attached to it as long as it is floating around the internet.
(Thanks and credit to http://www.sherv.net/icon-maker/ for tools to make the angel and demon avatars, John Scalzi of the Science Fiction Writers of America http://www.sfwa.org/ for the "Linebacker Test," and Schoolhouse Rock "Three is a Magic Number" for the linebacker image (and, yes, educated football players and watchers will know Schoolhouse Rock did not follow the NFL linebacker numbering scheme created the same year, in 1973).)
IS IT TRUE?
Is what you're saying based on fact, a matter of opinion, or something you have made up? If you do not have supporting details, you may be on thin ice.
IS IT HELPFUL?
You do NOT have to agree with everything on the internet, but your reply should ADD TO the community, building it up, not tearing it down. If your comment is not adding value, you need to ask whether you need to write it.
IS IT KIND?
A good rule of thumb is to comment as if the person about whom you are commenting is standing in front of you, is built like a linebacker, and has excellent hearing. After all, you will see these people at recess and lunch . . .
Even if they are not built like a linebacker, your untrue, unhelpful, or unkind comment is likely to come to the attention of someone who has the responsibility to spend time coaching you on the right way to behave; if you value your time, access to technology tools, and reputation, your impulse to say something untrue, unhelpful, or unkind needs to give way to thinking about consequences. Please remember this is YOUR comment, you own it, and your name will be attached to it as long as it is floating around the internet.
(Thanks and credit to http://www.sherv.net/icon-maker/ for tools to make the angel and demon avatars, John Scalzi of the Science Fiction Writers of America http://www.sfwa.org/ for the "Linebacker Test," and Schoolhouse Rock "Three is a Magic Number" for the linebacker image (and, yes, educated football players and watchers will know Schoolhouse Rock did not follow the NFL linebacker numbering scheme created the same year, in 1973).)